On the way back

The air is now really pregnant with rain. Now i can feel it.

There are so many restaurants in upper east side. I see people sitting around tables with their friends. Today, I want to be with friends quietly. Not another crazy night in clubs. I want to have 'heated discussions' with them. About life, philosophy, travels, love, arts or everything else that people disagree. I want to argue. And drink for the excitement. And at the end, to chill the heat, jump on the night train and yell at the full moon over the dark winter ocean.
So exciting just to imagine about it...

One thing to do after the test.
I want to write to these friends in Social philosophy club(ku-ra-bu). SaSaki kun, washida Kun, Nishino kun, beautiful Uchiyama chang, .... We drank togther, discussed Plato's republic, Karl Popper's 'open society,' Jean-Luc Godard's 'new wave.' I was not knowledgble at all to discuss about them. I was more of a listener or learner. At least I did all the reading assignments just enough to understand and absorb the heat of the discussion. (There were also lots of emotions going on underneath among these four or five people.) Sasaki (the leader of the club) always suggested crazy ideas to do after drunk discussions( one of them being running away without paying for drinks).
I miss them a lot.

Last night, because it became unbearable to study alone, I went to Youmi and Soyoung's apt. I laughed so much with them last night. We share a lot. I followed them to Fairway (famous Upper West Side grocery). How I love the smell of grocery shops!
I felt I was such a spoiled kid. Not only I don't do any grocery shopping. My mommy does all the laundries, cleanings, and she even makes two lunch boxes for me everyday! I should get out of this lovely house as soon as possible. Otherwise, I will be as spoiled as fish in the market on a hot summer day.

I am so so hungry. Almost 12AM. But we three girls decided to go on a diet. Just enough. So, I am keeping myself from eating something. Even the attractive clementine orange on my desk, I am avoiding. Other than just for trying to lose weight, I think feeling hungry is a good feeling. Holding oneself from instantly satisfying a desire is in the end very fulfilling. Body feels more in control and mind takes the power over.

I will make the list of things to do after the test..