31 blocks & $3.50 of happiness

That life is worth living is the most necessary of assumptions and were it not assumed, the most impossible conclusion.-- George Santayana

Then, I ask...
Does it have to be worth living? Does a life have to have a value? How do we know? Like Descartes...who anyway failed somehow, i don't want to make unneccessary assumptions in my life. I don't think life is worth living any more than it is not. And i refuse to accept it.

It would be funny if all I could say when I die in front of my loved ones is "oh, you know, my life was great. It was worth living." It should be more than that. Tenzin told me that in Tibetan Buddhism having a good death is even more important than living a good life. I wonder what "the Tibetan Book of Death" would say about a good death. Enlightenment.

Hue, that is my problem.... I let myself be swayed by the forces of life, exatly because that i tried to avoid them.. Meaning that, I refuse too many things that I am supposed to suppose to live, thereby being left un-protected. I deny too much, like unfortunate charaters of Dostoyevsky. But, i enjoy this inefficiency of my life. What a waste of time.. What a fun...

After ten hours of study, my brain was about to explode. So i treated myself with gohoubi(reward). Ice cream!! (For the first time I tried huge medium size Tasti Dlite for $3.50) And I walked 31 blocks of beautiful Second Ave. More so after the rain. My heart was singing, my eyes wet like dark asphalt coated with water.

And the view from tram. Breath-taking. (What more can I say...)

Pathetically romantic. Maybe I was missing someone terribly, maybe just abstractly from lonesomeness. No I missed all my loved ones. And i hoped to share it.

Madeleine Peyroux is singing 'autumn in New York' now. Just perfecto!